Survival Rules According To Zombieland

Since the movie Zombieland was on last night I thought I would watch it and take the time to analyze the survival rules. Some of them were pretty good, some not so much but keep in mind this was a comedy and some of the rules were added for comedic purposes.
 1. Cardio- Running away and avoiding confrontation with a zombie is always the best policy but this really depends on the kind of zombie you are faced with.  If we are talking Romero zombies, slow and fumbly, yes running away will be pretty effective. If we are talking 28 Days Later zombies, good luck with that. The muscles of a living person can only push so much before they experience muscle fatigue.  The undead feel no fatigue so they are able to push harder and for longer periods of time without becoming "tired".  Unless you are close to somewhere you can hold up, then do yourself a favor and put them down. You'll get tired of running long before they do. Keep in mind if you are in a group you don't have to be the fastest, you just have to be faster than the slowest person.
 2. Beware of bathrooms- Unless you are hold up somewhere secure then I suggest you handle your business outside. I don't know about you but I haven't been in too many bathrooms that had 2 entrances and once you get in that stall there is only one way out. If you absolutely have to use a bathroom, take someone with you and make sure it's clear.
 3. Seat belts- It's always a good idea to wear seat belts but in the event of a zombie outbreak I doubt there will be too many drivers on the road.
 4. Double Tap- Not such a good idea in my opinion. If you're using some kind of firearm, aim for the head and get it right the first time. Double tap does nothing but waste ammo and attract more undead. Now if you are using the preferred weapon, a large blunt or sharp object with a long reach, then by all means double tap, hell triple or quadruple tap if it makes you happy.
 5. No Attachments- This rule is pretty much impossible since in times of tragedy people become closer and undoubtedly with develop relationships. The point here is that it becomes hard to put down someone who becomes infected if that person is someone you care about.
 6. Travel In Groups- Very good point, it is much easier to survive in a group than it is alone. Groups of 3-10 are the ideal size. 3 gives you enough people to watch each other back and alternate on night watches. Larger groups tend to be harder to move around and are easily detected.
 7. Keep The Dumb People Close- Not very good, dumb people get you killed. Try to stay as far away from them as possible. If there is one in your group make sure he gets the opportunity to "sacrifice" himself for the good of the group.
 8. Kill With Efficiency- This probably should have been rule number 1. You don't have to make it all fancy or go all super commando. Just kill the thing, and don't waste too much ammo doing it. Preferably don't use any ammo if you can help it.
 9. Guns Are For Hunting, Not Zombie Killing- I imagine when the shit hits the fan (furthermore known as SHTF) guns will be plentiful, ammo will not. Use them only in dire need such as protecting your camp from scavengers, a large zombie horde, or hunting. If you can, use a weapon that has "reusable" ammo such as bows and cross bows.
10. Be Quiet- Best not to draw unnecessary attention to yourself. Zombies are attracted to sound and the less you have to deal with the better. This is another reason not to use firearms unless there is no other choice.
11. Headshot- As I mentioned in rule number 4, aim for the head and do it right the first time. This doesn't just apply to firearms though. Using melee weapons is just as good if you beat them around the face and neck area.
12. Stay On The Road- I don't think this really applies since zombies don't have much of a personal preference. They can be found on and off the roads. The only real benefit to traveling on roads is you can get around quicker then, say, if you were running though the Florida swamps.
13. Find Food- Eventually you will run out of food and need to find more will arise. Nonperishable food items is what you're looking for. Don't go looking for Twinkies, they only have a shelf life of 25 days. Canned and dried foods is your best bet. Try to find things with a high calorie count. If you find a stash of MREs then you are golden. Remember, everyday isn't thanksgiving, only eat what you need.
14. Keeping Supplies Up- The search for supplies is never ending.  Especially food and ammo. Don't wait until you run out to start looking for more. If you've stopped in a area for any length of time be sure and take that opportunity to take a look around for anything you might need.
15. Know Your Escape Route- Always leave yourself an exit and be sure you know where it is. Don't hold up anywhere that has only one point of entry.
16. Stomach Shots Don't Work- Don't waste your energy or ammo on gut shots, they will never work to kill a zombie. You have to shoot them in the head, cut their head off, or bash their head in. See the pattern, they all involve the head.
17. Don't Be A Hero- Survival is the key, don't stick your neck out for anyone especially if you think it will make you look good. Inevitably some of you will, some will succeed but most will fail.
18. Limber Up- Rather pointless since zombies aren't exactly going to give you some time to do some jumping jack or stretching exercises. Better just get use to acting on the fly.
19. Blend It- As sick as it might sound it's worked more than once. Sometimes you just have to rub some guts on you and try to blend in. The theory is that zombies attack based on smell and if you smell like one of them then they don't notice you. Be sure not to get any in your mouth, eyes, or open wounds. Before attempting this be sure and keep an eye on the weather. You don't exactly want it to rain while you are standing in the middle of a large crowd of zombies.
20. Find The Right Shelter- When you are looking for a place to hold up you can't just settle for anything with 4 walls and a roof. Preferably you want something with multiple exits, multiple floors, and gated fence surrounding the perimeter if you can find one. Try to avoid trailer and barns.
21. Zombies Can't Climb- If you can find some kind of shelter that is elevated off the ground that would be perfect since zombies can't really climb and the ones that can aren't very good at it. Also keep this in mind if you need to make a quick get away just don't forget that eventually you will have to climb down.
22. Be Ruthless- When the zombie invasion starts it will be back to survival of the fittest. Nothing is off limits, you have to do whatever you have to in order to survive. Anything and everything becomes a weapon and if they aren't your friend then they're your enemy and if they are your friend and they become infected, they move into the enemy category.
23. God Bless Rednecks-Not really sure where they were going with this one.
24. No Drinking- This would make sense because you always have to maintain a high level of alertness and be aware of your surroundings. Can't very well do this if you are shit faced. This would also apply to drug use.
25. Good Vehicle- Vehicles will be plentiful in the apocalypse, gas will be another story. I imagine the best vehicle will be one that can seat at least 4-5 with room for supplies. 4x4 is a plus but not required. When choosing a vehicle keep in my gas will get harder and harder to come by so that hummer may not be the best pick.
26. No Hand To Hand- This is a no brainer. If you are close enough to punch him in the face then he is close enough to bite you in the hand.
27. Blunt Objects- Ammo is something you will always have to conserve so the preferred weapon of choice is something sharp or blunt with a long reach (ie baseball bat, machete, spear). Whatever it is you decided to use make sure you get real familiar with it since you will be using it for the majority of your zombie kills.
28. No Knives- Kinda the same point as no hand to hand. You don't want to be that close to a zombie when you are trying to kill it. That being said, I'll take a knife over nothing any day.
29. Bathrooms- Not sure why they have it on this list twice but I'll cover it again. Don't go alone and make sure it's empty before you handle your business.
30. Sleeping- This reason alone is why you can't survive without a group. Eventually you will have to sleep, always make sure someone is awake to stand guard against zombies or scavengers.
31. Check The Back Seat- Always always always check the back seat. Inevitably there is always something there. Sometimes it's a zombie, sometimes it's something important you were about to leave behind.
32. Enjoy The Little Things- In a world full of zombies, death, and decay sometimes you just have to take a minute and think about positives. Maybe you hated your job, maybe you were drowning in debt. The zombie apocalypse is the perfect opportunity at a second chance in life, however short it may be. Take this time to do something you wouldn't normally do.

Best laid plans of mice and men....and zombies

Exactly what might someone need to survive the initial zombie outbreak? While there is no definite right answer there are a few things that can increase your chances of survival.
Ideally you will need enough supplies to survive the first few days until you can hold up somewhere. Undoubtedly the CDC will set up safe zones. Approach these with caution, safe zones are only effective if the outbreak is contained quickly. If they become overrun then its nothing more than a buffet line for zombies.
So what should you take with you? Basic supplies should include a weapon of some kind (additional ammo if required), water (1 gallon per person per day), food (high calorie nonparishable), identification, medicines (prescription, over the counter, and antibiotics), change of clothing (Socks especially. Take care of your feet, if they fail you then you become a sitting duck), and last but not least sanitary supplies (bleach, paper towels, etc.
Ideally you want to have these items ready to go in a moments notice in what we like to call a bug-out-bag. You can add whatever items you think you may need. This list is designed to support you through the initial first few days of an outbreak and is able to be carried by an average individual on foot. For more information on additional items and the preferred method of packing a bug-out-bag check out this link.

Zombie Genesis

Exactly how did the zombie outbreak occur?  Well that depends on who's telling the story but generally it has to do with a reanimation virus.  In the 1968 Night of the Living Dead, it was speculated that a space probe entering earths atmosphere exploded and released radioactive contamination, thus reanimating recently deceased human beings.

Now if we are talking Resident Evil zombies, they were the result of an accident at an Umbrella research facility.  A sample known as the T-virus broke and was release into the air.  Long story short, everyone in the facility ended up dead and the T-virus reanimated their corpses.  The same principals apply, dead body walking around trying to eat you.

In the 2002 British flick 28 Days Later, some animal rights activist decide to free some chimps from a research facility against the warning of the chief scientist who warns them that they are infected with a "Rage" virus.  Monkey attack...people get infected...  In most every zombie flick there is a delay from the time you are bitten to when you actually turn into a zombie however , not with the "Rage" virus.  The turn around time is almost instantaneous and these aren't your average zombies that just wander around aimlessly tripping over themselves like a new baby deer, these bastards are quick.
In the 2007 film, Flight of the Living Dead: Outbreak on a Plane, a scientist infected with a genetically engineered virus is smuggled on to a 747 in a container. The virus he is infect with was designed to make soldiers able to continue to fight after being mortally wounded and also gives them superhuman strength. The outbreak starts when the plane goes through some turbulence and the container get damaged releasing the infected scientist. As you can imagine he starts chewing on passengers.
In the 2009 comedy, Zombieland, the plague is started by a mutated strain of mad cow disease.
In the current TV series The Walking Dead, it would appear that the virus is spread fairly easily like the flu or a common cold since everyone is infected.  You don't have to be bitten in order to turn into a zombie, you simply just have to die and you become reanimated within minutes to hours later.  I won't go into further detail on how this outbreak got started since this is still an ongoing show and it hasn't been revealed yet.
I could go on about how the zombie infections start in every movie I've seen but you get the point. It starts either by radiation or most commonly by some virus. Regardless of how it starts all outbreaks have one thing in common, if you become one there is no cure.